Changed..

It seems like just yesterday. The sounds, smells, and chaos are as real today as they were that day. Ten years almost… time really should make things like this easier to handle, or at least buffer the raw emotion. I’m not the same person I was then. My perspective has changed on life. Simple things like the sound of a neighbors annoying squeaky dog barking for hours on end, the smell of cut grass, and the business of a grocery store provide a haven of normalcy.

So much for the college education;  the nights of classes; the homework, and the long hours of study. Who would have thought one of the most significant lessons in life would play out right in front of me. Many of us lost friends, coworkers, family, brothers, sisters, parents, and children. I think of the loss of a dear friend…his life ripped so senselessly from his young son and sweet wife. The day of his funeral was almost too much to bear. Standing in Arlington overlooking our broken and charred Pentagon was like a sucker punch right in the face. And the smell…it was awful, I cant begin to describe it.

In the years that have followed, our wounded Pentagon has been repaired and our hearts have had time to learn to cope. I cant say ‘heal’…I don’t think its possible to heal from the loss of a loved one. Heal if you break an arm, yes. The loss of life is something you just cannot ‘heal’ from, but eventually learn to cope. 

I thought that volunteering as an EMT would keep me occupied after my mundane day at work. I didn’t realize that along with the events of 9/11 would change everything I would do from that point on…